Am I A Boring Person?

It’s a question I hear more often than you might think:

“What if I’m just… boring?”

Usually, it comes out quietly, almost like someone’s embarrassed to say it out loud. Often after a social situation that left them feeling flat or overlooked. Or maybe after scrolling through someone’s holiday pics or watching a TikTok that made them think, "I’m nothing like that."

It's ok if this is a question that’s been lurking in the back of your mind too.

As someone who works closely with people navigating social anxiety, I want to offer you a few gentle reframes. Not because I’ve got all the answers (sorry!!), but because I know how painful and sticky this question can be when you carry it for too long.

First, let’s name what’s really going on

When someone tells me they worry they’re boring, it’s rarely about a lack of personality or interests. It’s more often about:

• Feeling like you don’t know what to say in social situations

• Comparing yourself to louder, more extroverted people

• Believing you have to perform to be liked

• Feeling disconnected or "blank" in a conversation due to feeling anxious

  
  

Sound familiar?

The fear of being boring often lives right alongside perfectionism, people-pleasing, and the pressure to be endlessly entertaining. Social anxiety can convince us that we need to be on all the time. That anything less than chatty, funny and interesting is a failure.

But here’s the truth: being quiet, thoughtful, or even awkward doesn’t make you boring. It makes you human.

Reframe #1: I don’t have to be interesting to be worthy of connection.

This is a big one.

Sometimes we internalise the idea that connection has to be earned—through charisma, humour, or sparkling conversation. But authentic connection doesn’t require performance. In fact, the deepest relationships are often built in the quiet, in the ordinary, and in the mutual acceptance of just being.

You don’t have to sell yourself in every conversation. You can simply be there, be present, be you. And that’s enough.

Reframe #2: I may not feel interesting because I feel anxious.

Anxiety messes with memory, attention, and self-perception. If your brain is busy scanning for danger (like whether people are judging you), it’s not surprising if you come away from conversations thinking you were dull or forgettable. That’s anxiety talking, not reality.

A good question to ask is: Would I say this about someone else who acted the way I did? Most of the time, the answer is no.

Reframe #3: Not everyone is loud—and that’s okay.

We tend to equate "interesting" with high energy. But being animated or extroverted isn’t the only way to be engaging. Some of the most magnetic people I know are quiet, observant, and reflective. They speak slowly, think deeply, and don’t need to fill every silence. And guess what? People are drawn to them.

You don’t need to change your natural temperament to fit into someone else’s mould. You can bring your own kind of presence into the room—and that’s just as valid.

Reframe #4: Boredom isn’t a verdict on my value.

Let’s say someone did find a conversation boring. That doesn’t mean you’re a boring person. It means that particular interaction didn’t land. Maybe you weren’t in the mood. Maybe they weren’t. Maybe it was just one of those off moments.

It is not our job to entertain every single person we meet. It’s okay if you don’t click with everyone. That’s not a reflection of your worth.

So, what if I still feel boring?

That’s okay too. You’re allowed to feel that way sometimes. But try not to stop there.

Instead, get curious. Ask yourself:

• Am I holding myself to unrealistic standards?

• Is my anxiety distorting how I see myself?

• What do the people who do like me value about me?

  
  

You can also try reconnecting with things that light you up, not because they’ll make you more “interesting,” but because joy and self-expression are powerful antidotes to shame. Whether it’s art, books, hiking, The Great Pottery Throwdown (woo!) —let yourself like what you like. That’s where your real sparkle is.

Therapy can help you untangle this stuff

If the “am I boring?” story has been on repeat in your head, know that it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Working with a therapist—especially someone familiar with the inner world of social anxiety—can help you challenge those harsh internal narratives and build up your confidence in social spaces. You don’t need to become a different person. You just need a space where all parts of you are welcome, even the ones that feel uncertain.

I offer both video and email therapy, which can be especially helpful if face-to-face feels a bit too much right now. These options allow us to work together at your pace, in a way that feels safe and manageable for you.

If you’re curious to learn more or wondering whether we’d be a good fit, get in touch at laura@laurawoodtherapy.co.uk or complete a contact form on my website.

I’d love to hear from you.

Warmly,

Laura